What a fitting title for this blog today. With spring winding it’s coils to spring out of this gloom and mud, I feel like some how, something has shifted in me -not that my path through life hasn’t always been in a state of flux, mind you. Maybe it is my return to reading books on spirituality or maybe it’s my willingness to read for the first time about christianity or maybe that my life has actually become become whole (or is it me that has become whole…who the heck knows). What I do know is that I have returned to waking in the wee hours of the a.m, which I desperately missed when I was ill, to just be. That I look at my children with wonder and amazement and giggle because they are just so damn humanly perfect. That I love my husband and every little hair folicle there is on his body (even the one’s that aren’t…) just for being him -I am resisting a quote from the Good the Bad and the Ugly here…and that we have a little house (and I mean little) that is big on love.
(It would be really easy to continue to paint a lovely picture of perfection HOWEVER, my life isn’t always perfect. I have learned nothing is. But, my life is perfectly mine. It’s like that really cool rock candy when I was a kid that I coveted -with all it’s pretty colors. Sometimes the stuff just flat out hurts your teeth, you know. I never wanted to accept that. It was still awesome nonetheless, but now I refrain from torturing myself with that stuff)
So back to this change or sort of awakening that I am experiencing…
I have always believed in my heart that any situation that comes our way is all about perspectives. Then comes ideas and attitudes and well, I confess I haven’t always had the best of any of these things. Somedays I do, somedays I don’t. Sometimes I have the tools to utilize these things, sometimes they are burried in the shed under the motorcycle parts and quite frankly I become lazy and make a conscious choice to dig a hole with my bare fingers than actually expend the energy to dig my tools out. BUT…today, not so much. I’m grateful (or is it greatful? – following the Dead around when I was younger altered my ability to spell that word properly). I am glad that I have the ability to work hard, glad that I have the ability to love others, glad that I have a world of knowledge out there that I can seek out to find the appropriate answer and/or response. Life is good…even when not so good things transpire. I’m glad…I’m just glad. Even for the bad stuff.
I read something the other day that said something like, when we wake up in the morning first thing, before any thoughts or worries creap in, you know that quick moment…that is when we are closer to our God (whichever god). In that fleeting moment, all is right with the world and we are at our purest. Fearless. Universal. I believe it. I am glad to have that moment back. I lost it for a couple of years because I usually woke up in pain and that wasn’t so good. I think one moment of being truly who we were meant to be helps our daily perspective, ideas and attitudes. Really. I hope this isn’t sounding like Charlie Sheen ratings, because, well I don’t want to disturb anyone the way he disturbs me, but I just want to share this.
I hope for myself, for you and the people that dislike me the most that they have that moment, because it is absolutely a blessing. A brand new beginning. A brand new world. A brand new self. A brand new chance to acknowledge and do better.
I love the prospect of putting a few days of those together to see what new world evolves for us. What new us evolves.