Category Archives: Thank Yous

The Winds of Change

 As I sit here engulfed in the winds of change I am optimistic, hopeful, full of love and anticipation as well as nervous, cautious and unfamiliar with my future path.

Today I have 10 more days of being an employee and then I am off on my own to sail the seas of this life. (That might sound a bit dramatic, but work is a larger portion of who I am than is proportionate to the other things that define me).  It is a bit unnerving.  I have always been tethered to the American lifestyle by working sometimes multiple jobs not because it was always necessary, but because it was what came natural to me.  After a while it was how I defined myself. It was how society defined me to a certain extent.  It was how I “took care of business” and my child…and then children.

This life has been kind to me. I honestly believe that.  It hasn’t always been easy, I haven’t always made the right choices but it has never been catastrophic.  Others opinions in this regard might differ, but largely I have fond memories and have come to terms with my skeletons.  (In certain countries skeletons are talismans and I can appreciate that. Without my skeletons I would not be who I am, as whethered as I may be, literally and figuratively. )

The past couple of years have not been easy, I have managed to work two sometimes three jobs while maintaining a happy marriage, a teenager, a child in the midst of family crisis and a baby who is now a toddler, all while being in the midst of an illness that is undefinable and evasive.  Largely I have been successful.  As a result, my family has made a collective decision that it is time for me to be a mom and to be my toddler’s human experience and not just the daycare shuttle and nighttime tucker-in’er.  That it is time to love my daughter and support her in her challenges in attempting to understand who to become after being subjected to scenes that a grown woman would be challenged to face, to stand resolute in what is love and health.  Her heart has been broken at what she considers to be a great loss of a brother – even though as adults we know that divorce is not a literal death, even if it feels like it.  It is time to be a wife who does laundry again and handles the household so that her husband can rest and renew.  It is time to guide my 17 year old into the tides of his life and be a bouy to his journey. 

It is time for me to do what I am passionate about.  Spending time with people with a sincere desire to change their lives and their health and to face the fears emotionally and physically.  To communicate with them and to help then choose a path of freedom from the constraints of what their bodies have become and help facilitate pursuit of their goals and dreams.

What more could I ask for?  This is my dream life.  Nonetheless, I am nervous. I am nervous about learning to master a new form of balance.  Of who I will become and all of the possibilities in my days.  I am nervous at the amount of responsibility I will have and the value of such to my family and others.  I am nervous that my finances will suffer, if I didn’t acknowledge that out loud I would be dishonest.

I have prospects, I have fallback plans, I have opportunites but most of all I have FAITH.  Faith in my god, faith in my friends, community and family.  Most of all, I have learned to have faith in myself and my strength and most importantly, my future.

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On Anticipating Good Things on Anticipating Bad Things

Rapid heart rate, clammy hands, shallow breathing…struggling with the unknown. Worried that I will just be out there “floating” without a purpose…Will life be good? Will life be agonizing? Will I be restless? Will I be fulfilled?  Will I sap the life out of my friends with my whining?

I’m just doing it.  (As I tiptoe up to the edge of the cliff -wind blowing my hair).  Faith, love, peace and priorities.

Obedience (via T I M E L E S S.)

Obedience Task to do: Love others (include the enemy) Help the needy Share our resources (eg, lecture notes, knowledge), hehe Keep our lives clean Offer forgiveness Tell the truth Be kind Encourage others Believe me, these task may seem simple, but it’s not that easy to complete. All the best! Hwaiting! (^_^)/ … Read More

via T I M E L E S S.

whistling (via Milk + Honey)

whistling I was waiting for Jacob to finish up trying on clothes in the dressing room at a store this weekend (hang tight for a post on Jacob’s epic shopping abilities) when a saleswoman shot me a strange look.  She had caught me whistling out loud, just as the music on the store’s stereo stopped.  Without missing a beat, I just told her, “I’m a whistler.”  Like it was no big deal. These happy spring days must be getting to me! Are you an unabashed whistle … Read More

via Milk + Honey

Beautiful Danger (via ricksteinberger)

Beautiful Danger That’s why the rule is so simple; he knows how difficult it is. He knows better than we do because, in our vacuous minds we stay so distracted we don’t even realize how difficult what we are doing actually is, but of course he does and that’s the point; that’s why the rule is so simple and direct; Love one another. Simon Tugwell, The Beatitudes: Soundings in Christian Traditions … Read More

via ricksteinberger

Thoughts On Making Prints To Donate Money To Japan (via .. the wind-up bee ..)

Who hasn’t heard of the sad news about the earthquakes and tusnamis in Japan, and the victims that the disaster grabs along with it. It’s surreal to see vast areas of destroyed homes and people looking for lost relatives. There’s not much one can do but to offer help or anything that can ease the aftermath. So I’ve been thinking of making prints of my paintings to sell and donate every penny to the Red Cross to help. The question is if anyone is … Read More

via .. the wind-up bee ..

Prayer Works ~ It Doesn’t Have To Be About Religion (via Blessings Go Round)

Prayer Works ~ It Doesn't Have To Be About Religion Prayer Works ~ It Doesn’t Have To Be About Religion … So true! Today I received a report of one account that one of the rosaries has been working already! I know this, you probably know that prayer works but to receive confirmation from someone who is participating in Blessings Go Round, after a week, to feel the miracles, is astonishing and blessed news. I am delighted that I have received such positive news so soon! I have started my waiting … Read More

via Blessings Go Round